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a dream October 16, 2007

Posted by abi in life.

I survived the Middle School retreat….and it was a lot of fun!   I knew better what to expect this year and just spent more time hanging out with my middle school girls that went.  I also am getting to know more of the other youth leaders in the presbytery, so it was good to catch up and share ideas and thoughts with them.  I may blog a little bit more about a few things I learned from the experience at this year’s retreat in another post this week. 

When I got back from dropping the kids off, boyfriend was waiting and we had planned to relax and have dinner together.  But my mom called and she needed help getting a new couch they had bought home and were wondering if we (he has a truck) could help them out.  I was tired, and didn’t really want to – but when I think about how much my parents have done for me over the years, I decided it really wasn’t that big a deal.  We went and helped them out and then ended up hanging out at my parent’s house for a while.  My younger sister was actually there and my brother happened to show up – so my dad called my other sister and her husband and we had a spontaneous family get-together!  (Note: we had tried for several weeks to schedule something like this for my mom’s birthday and it didn’t happen that all of us could make it!  Somehow randomly we all showed up though)  We showed my parents the joys of ordering pizza online and all had a good time. 

I crashed that night and didn’t dream – just slept well, since I hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep that weekend (cabin full of giggly middle school girls – need I say more?) .  Last night though, I had some vivid dreams.   I have no idea where they came from, because I hadn’t thought of any of this for a long time.  I first remembered dreaming about myself and my siblings out at some random park dressed as Indians.   We were with a few other families and doing some sort of homeschooling project and then just running around the park.  Then it switched to a bunch of the same kids at our current ages sitting around a table laughing and having a good theology discussion.   And I was talking for a while with one good friend, Tim.  I woke up and thought “that was fun – we should all really get together – it’s been a while since I’ve had a good talk with Tim”.  It took me a few seconds of waking up to realize that couldn’t ever happen anymore.  Tim died a year and a half ago.  He was an amazing guy that I basically grew up with.  We did a lot of homeschooling stuff together and then worked together during the summers at both 4-H events and Beachmont Christian camp.  He was almost finished with seminary when he committed suicide due to his struggle with bi-polar disease.   This morning, I felt a very little bit of what his family still feels everyday when they wake up and realize that its not just a bad dream – Tim is really still gone.  His sister is a very close friend of mine and I know she’s still (understandably) having a really rough time with it.  I don’t always know how to best help her or even what to say.  But I was just reminded this morning of their loss.  And I’m reminded to keep his sister, Mary, and their entire family in my prayers.  Because it will always be hard.  It still is for me. 



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