not all who wander are lost…

this past weekend…

was my sister and brother-in-law’s “grown-up  Halloween party”.  Emily was a referee, Katie was Rosie the Riveter, and I don’t know what I was, I just liked the wig. 

On Sunday afternoon we went for a hike at Harper’s Ferry.  The weather and falls colors were beautiful. 

Sunday evening was dinner with my good friend, Erin.  I brought over 2 pumpkins for us to carve.  Erin did a spider/moon that looked really nice.  I liked the pumpkin I had picked out and thought it looked tree-like because of the green veins going up it and the long, curled stem.  I was carving mine to enter in the pumpkin contest we had at work yesterday (Monday).  I was trying to beat this one co-worker who had won several years in a row.  I did end up beating him, but came in 2nd (not 1st like I was hoping…yes, I am way too competitive for my own good sometimes).  I won a $20 gift card to Target though - so I was pretty happy! 

what a depressing day.  It’s amazing what a gray rainy day can to do your attitude.  I guess it doesn’t help that I feel so completely emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained from everything going on this week.  That and morale around our office is low because our company screwed up our paychecks and all of us with direct deposits won’t see any money in our accounts until Monday.  I didn’t have any big plans or bills I was paying this weekend where I am hugely affected by it thankfully, but it is still depressing when you count on getting paid, but then don’t.  Oh well.

Trying to gear myself up for the haunted house our youth group is doing this weekend (Fri., Sat., Mon., and Tues.).  I’m not a big fan of halloween or haunted houses in general.  But my church has owns a historic house and they have been doing a haunted house in the basement of it for at least 20 years.  Not something I can easily come in and change….so I’m at least saying that the money we make is going to now go towards a good cause….next year’s mission trip.  And although I don’t particularly like it, it is a neat community event.  The local high school band even marches up and does musical and flag routine on our church’s lawn on the night before halloween.  So at least our church is community-friendly……

I’m looking forward to sleeping in on Saturday morning for the first time in quite a while, not having many church responsibilities on Sunday, and hanging out with some good friends and my family.

Praying in Color is a prayer exercise I recently learned at a youth leader get together with my presbytery.  It’s a neat, emergent-type of thing.  There is a book by Sybil MacBeth called: Praying in Color: Drawing a New Path to God that explains it more fully, but basically you color while you pray.  You can pray for people by writing their name or using a color to represent them and just doodling as you meditate or pray silently.  You don’t have to be a good artist or worry about it looking good - the important part is the process and letting it help you focus on God. 

I liked the idea of praying in color a lot, since I’m an artist, and also into art therapy, but I wasn’t sure when I would use it in youth ministry.  This weekend however ended up being the perfect opportunity.  I knew Sunday morning was going to be hard on everyone.  And the student whose mother died actually ended up coming to church.  I knew she didn’t want to talk a whole lot about it, but we needed to somehow acknowledge the death and let everyone process it in some way.  So I started high school Sunday School out by just mentioned all that had happened that week and how rough it all was.  I told them that we were going to pray for the student’s family and all those who had lost someone or been impacted by death this week.  But we were going to do that by praying in color.  I handed out paper and crayons and told them what it was about - also that they could choose not to color, just to please stay quiet and respectful of those who were.  It went really well - they were all so intent and focused that we continued praying and coloring for about 15 min., then I ended with “we lift all these prayers up to you Jesus.  Amen”.

It was a good, therapeutic way for us as a youth group to process the death of the student’s mother.  And I think it’s a great way to try praying at other, not so tragic times.  Some students will be more helped by it then others, but its worth trying with everyone once I think.  Hope it helps you as much as it has me.

This weekend was not a typical “fun and crazy, I love what I do” youth ministry weekend.  As I drove up to the hospice on Saturday evening to visit one of my students whose mother had just been admitted, I thought about that fact.  People preparing to be pastors know that they are eventually going to have to do funerals and a lot of bereavement counseling.  I think going into youth ministry we don’t think as much about that side of things - because we sincerely hope that we won’t have to deal with hospice visits and funerals.  We don’t want death to hit our students as much as it would the total congregation of a church with many older members.  But it unfortunately does. 

I arrived at the hospice just hoping to show up and let my high school student know I was there if she needed anything and say a quick prayer and leave since her mother had just been moved there and I wanted to make sure I wasn’t intruding on family time to say goodbye.  I really didn’t know her parents very well since this student had been invited by a friend to our youth group last year and had been coming faithfully on her own for the past year.  I had a few brief interactions with them and when we found out her mother had cancer our church reached out to them in whatever way possible with meals, rides, and prayers.  But the pastor of our church didn’t know the student too well or the family at all, so I decided that I needed to be the church representative and go visit at the hospice.  I got there about 45 minutes after the mother had died.  Walking into a room with a dead body is not what I think of as youth ministry.  But being able to hug a student who was in shock, but also kind of shocked to see that I cared that much IS.  Then I just sat there silently with them.  After a while they asked me what to do (I had no clue really) - I said I would do whatever they wanted or needed.  I said a prayer and the father asked if our pastor would be willing to do the funeral service even though they weren’t members of the church.  I assured him that we had been praying for their family for a long time and that I knew the pastor would be happy to do it if he was available.  Then I helped them make a few phone calls and left when another group of the family came so that they could grieve together privately.  I felt very overwhelmed and ill-equipped to handle it all.  But God helped me get through it and I was also thankful for my pastor-boyfriend support and advice, as well as my mother’s (she’s been a hospice nurse for years).  As hard as it was, I was glad I went, because it somehow helped that I was there.  My high school student called me at about midnight that night and thanked me for coming and she started to talk a little bit about how she was feeling.  There were long pauses and she didn’t want to talk much about it….but I was glad that she realized that she could call me whenever she needed to.

That’s what ministry is about - maybe more than the hyped up, amazing, worship-full events with tons of youth.  It’s about walking with students through all seasons of their lives - especially the dark ones. 

so it’s finally Friday.  This has been a long and busy week.  A lot going on, lots of thoughts, worries, prayers. 

I was thinking about the last post on movies and it seems like more of the problem I was having was the big age/maturity difference in middle schoolers.  I love middle schoolers and love working with them.  But the more I do, the more I see that there is a HUGE difference between a 6th grader and an 8th grader.  It’s hard to shoot for the middle ground without feeling like you’re either not exposing young 6th graders to too much or alternately, not reaching 8th graders with what they need to be hearing.  I’m still working on a movie and movie clip policy - and asking parents and my pastor for advice.  Any thoughts on how to best help middle schoolers and/or thoughts on movie policies for youth ministry? 

I am worried about quite a few people in my life right now.  I have a few friends dealing with some hard stuff, also still concerned for my sister and all she has going on in her life.  Several of my high school students just had a coach die tragically in an accident, and one of those same students is dealing with a parent who has cancer - which is unfortunately getting much worse.  I don’t really know how to help in many of these situations, except to be there for the people involved and be praying like crazy for them all too.  It’s in my nature to be a peacemaker and try and “fix” things.  But I can’t fix any of this, as much as I might want to. 

Tonight I am glad that I get to go home and relax.  Boyfriend is coming over and I’m making dinner (I really like to cook when I have time and someone other than me to enjoy it!).  I think I am fixing chicken pot pie - good, warm comfort food.  And we’ll probably watch a movie from redbox….yep, sounds like a good night. 

This past weekend, our local presbytery held a retreat for middle school students.  I went with one other adult chaperone and some of our middle schoolers and we all had a great time.  It was nice to just tag along and not have to be involved with the planning or details - just provide adult supervision and have a good chunk of time to spend getting to know my youth better.  

The theme of the weekend was “Transformers” based off Romans 12:1-2:

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Great theme - great verses.  And the high school youth on youth council who were helping out did a great job of planning some workshops and discussion times that the middle schoolers enjoyed and got a lot out of.  There was also a key note speaker who did a good job of conveying the importance of noncomformity and being transformed to be more like Christ.  The speaker showed a couple of movie clips to help her illustrate her points - the clips caused a bit of controversy.  She showed the beginning portion of “A Walk to Remember” where one kid is trying so hard to fit in that he jumps off of a tower into shallow water and becomes paralyzed.  That is definately a good example of someone trying to fit in - and how it comes at a high cost sometimes.  Problem was that movie was rated PG-13 and in that beginning part there was a good bit of cussing and other stuff with the bad kids.  While not horrible and the film overall has a good message, that clip was questionable.  There was a younger girl in my cabin who had never seen the movie asking me later why we were showing a movie with so much cussing at a church retreat.  I talked to her a little about it and she understood the point the speaker was trying to make.  But I also didn’t know why we showed that particular portion of the movie (when there are other parts of that movie and other movies in general that could’ve illustrated the same thing with a little less language). 

The next night the speaker showed a longer portion of the movie “End of the Spear“.  It’s about the story of 5 missionaries who were brutally killed by the people they went to witness to and the dramatic change of how they ultimately ended up following Christ.  It is an very well-produced and excellent movie - well worth anyone watching if they haven’t….but again PG-13.  And the portions that the speaker showed were very graphic and violent - showing a baby and quite a few other people getting speared.  I looked around the room and a lot of the youth were crying.  The speaker made a dramatic point when she showed 20 mins. of that and then a portion closer to the end where the son of the missionary and  the guy who killed his father reconciled.  Yes that was a powerful story of transformation - but it may have been a little too much for younger middle schoolers.  Some of whom had nightmares that night and were visibly upset. 

The speaker apologized to the adults the next morning and explained that she herself had let her kids watch those movies at the same age - but she also said she didn’t think about how young some of the students coming to the retreat would be and didn’t take into account how violent the one movie (End of the Spear) really was.  I personally think that some middle schoolers could’ve handled it fine and it may be a good choice for them to watch - but maybe as a family so their parents could have the opportunity to discuss it with them afterwards.  I think the speaker this weekend could’ve showed a lot less of both movies and told more of the story herself and that may have caused a lot of the adults there less concern.  Also it wouldn’t have placed so many images in younger students who may not have been ready for them.  What do you all think?  Does your church have any type of standards about watching movies or even movie clips?  Our church currently doesn’t have a policy, but I think now I may try and work with my senior pastor to put one in writing.
 

I survived the Middle School retreat….and it was a lot of fun!   I knew better what to expect this year and just spent more time hanging out with my middle school girls that went.  I also am getting to know more of the other youth leaders in the presbytery, so it was good to catch up and share ideas and thoughts with them.  I may blog a little bit more about a few things I learned from the experience at this year’s retreat in another post this week. 

When I got back from dropping the kids off, boyfriend was waiting and we had planned to relax and have dinner together.  But my mom called and she needed help getting a new couch they had bought home and were wondering if we (he has a truck) could help them out.  I was tired, and didn’t really want to - but when I think about how much my parents have done for me over the years, I decided it really wasn’t that big a deal.  We went and helped them out and then ended up hanging out at my parent’s house for a while.  My younger sister was actually there and my brother happened to show up - so my dad called my other sister and her husband and we had a spontaneous family get-together!  (Note: we had tried for several weeks to schedule something like this for my mom’s birthday and it didn’t happen that all of us could make it!  Somehow randomly we all showed up though)  We showed my parents the joys of ordering pizza online and all had a good time. 

I crashed that night and didn’t dream - just slept well, since I hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep that weekend (cabin full of giggly middle school girls - need I say more?) .  Last night though, I had some vivid dreams.   I have no idea where they came from, because I hadn’t thought of any of this for a long time.  I first remembered dreaming about myself and my siblings out at some random park dressed as Indians.   We were with a few other families and doing some sort of homeschooling project and then just running around the park.  Then it switched to a bunch of the same kids at our current ages sitting around a table laughing and having a good theology discussion.   And I was talking for a while with one good friend, Tim.  I woke up and thought “that was fun - we should all really get together - it’s been a while since I’ve had a good talk with Tim”.  It took me a few seconds of waking up to realize that couldn’t ever happen anymore.  Tim died a year and a half ago.  He was an amazing guy that I basically grew up with.  We did a lot of homeschooling stuff together and then worked together during the summers at both 4-H events and Beachmont Christian camp.  He was almost finished with seminary when he committed suicide due to his struggle with bi-polar disease.   This morning, I felt a very little bit of what his family still feels everyday when they wake up and realize that its not just a bad dream - Tim is really still gone.  His sister is a very close friend of mine and I know she’s still (understandably) having a really rough time with it.  I don’t always know how to best help her or even what to say.  But I was just reminded this morning of their loss.  And I’m reminded to keep his sister, Mary, and their entire family in my prayers.  Because it will always be hard.  It still is for me. 

and I’m heading off to our Presbytery’s middle school retreat.  It was a lot of fun last year and neat to get to know people from other churches.   I think it will be a good time, I’m just struggling right now becuase I’m so busy - it’s hard to give up this whole weekend and be away….but oh well.  I’m sure I’ll come back glad that I went and also glad for the opportunity to get to know some of my middle schoolers better.  One of my goals is to figure out how to tell the indentical twin sisters apart (I have always felt so bad not knowing who is who - especially since I usually forget even when they tell me!).  Another goal is not to break my foot this year!  Capture the flag there is brutal….

Thanks to Tim Schmoyer for posting my crazy game on his blog yesterday!  His blog is a great resource for youth ministry peeps - check it out at: http://timschmoyer.com/2007/10/10/favorite-youth-group-games-chuck-the-chicken/

I got a rubber chicken at a Christmas party playing the Yankee Trader game and figured it would be great for youth stuff.  I saw that game idea somewhere and was pretty sure it would flop, but tried it anyway.  We modified it slightly to what is posted on Tim’s blog, and now “Chuck the chicken”  has turned into one of my students favorite games!   

Last Sunday night we had a lot of fun with a big event called “Hunt for Red October”.  It was a local scavenger hunt that involved bringing back a lot of random stuff, a little bit of service (helping 3 people carry groceries to their cars, picking up a certain amount of trash), and taking some digital pictures to show me when they returned.   We had a great group of parent drivers who I asked to tell me if their team should receive bonus points for outstanding teamwork when they were finished.  It was a lot of fun to see how resourceful all the youth were and a good time of relationship building.   

It’s only October and we have already have several new youth and their families coming consistently to youth group happenings.  We have also had quite a few new visitors and I have been amazed each week at how many students are showing up.  The thing I’m more excited about than the numbers though, is the fact that my youth are so excited about being there and are inviting their friends to be a part of what’s going on.  And it’s not just the fun crazy activities - they are showing up on Bible study nights too!  In fact, on my beginning of the year survey, that’s what nearly all of my high schoolers wrote in - that they wanted more Bible study going on this year.  

I am so thankful that I am working at a church that is incredibly supportive of ministry to youth and also to me.  I know that the church community is a large part of what is attracting new youth and families.   I’m excited to see more of what God wants to do there!

Job or Ministry?

Some people have a job in the church.
Others involve themselves in ministry.

What’s the difference?

If you do it just because no one else will…it’s a job!
If you do it to serve God…it’s a ministry!

If you quit because someone criticized you…it’s a job!
If you kept on serving in spite of criticism…it’s a ministry!

If you’ll do it only so long as it doesn’t interfere with other things…it’s a job!
If you’re committed to staying with it, even when it means letting other things go…it’s a ministry!

If you quit because no one ever praised or thanked you…it’s a job!
If you stay even though no one notices your efforts…it’s a ministry!

If you do it because someone else said it needs to be done…it’s a job!
If you do it because you sensed God saying it needs to be done…it’s a ministry!

It’s hard to get excited about a job.
It’s almost impossible not to get excited about a ministry!

An average church is filled with people doing jobs!
A great and growing church is filled with people involved in ministry!

Copyright © 2007 Group Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved