not all who wander are lost…

I recently read an old blog written by Carolyn McCulley called  Abigail’s Initiative and thought it was worth sharing on here since its about me!  No, not really - but it is about my namesake - Abigail.  I have always loved the story of found in the Bible, 1 Sam. 25 and hope that I follow her example of being a bold, yet humble woman who is following God so whole-heartedly. 

January 15, 2007

Abigail’s Initiative

Fairy tales often portray femininity as a passive concept: Sleeping Beauty is unconscious until kissed; Cinderella is miserable until a fairy godmother appears; Rapunzel is imprisoned with her flowing locks until she is rescued. But that passivity is not what we see of women in the Bible, and Abigail the Carmelitess is one of my favorite examples. We find the account of her wise initiative in 1 Samuel 25.

Abigail is described in verse three as being “intelligent and beautiful.” That order is important because it’s her intelligence and initiative that are on display in this account. Her beauty is secondary.

Abigail was the wife of a very wealthy man who is called Nabal, which means “fool.” Nabal was very rich, owning 3,000 sheep and 1,000 goats. When David and his men were living in the wilderness of Paran after the death of Samuel, they took it upon themselves to protect these herds from attacks by wild animals or raiders. According to the IVP Bible Background Commentary on the Old Testament, sheep shearing was a festival time when a count of the sheep would be taken and rewards would be given to the shepherds. David’s message to Nabal is a claim for a portion of that compensation. But Nabal spurns the request and insults David, instead, saying, “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?” This commentary notes that Carmel, Nabal’s town, was taken from the Amalekites by Saul, and therefore it’s not entirely surprising that a Carmelite resident would be loyal to Saul and question who David was. However, David’s fame was widespread so Nabal’s unwillingness to do what was requested was no doubt motivated by other reasons, perhaps greed or pride.

Abigail, on the other hand, must have had a reputation for wisdom because one of Nabal’s shepherds comes to her and reports all that has happened, as though he expects her intervention. Her husband had listed bread, water, and meat as the rewards for his shearers, so Abigail loads her donkeys with what must have been some of these prepared rewards–200 loaves of bread, two jugs of wine, five prepared sheep, five measures of roasted grain (about a bushel), 100 clusters of raisins, and 200 cakes of figs. Then she rides out to meet David.

As Abigail encounters him, she gets off of her donkey and bows low before David. Her persuasive speech reminds David of God’s work in his life, God’s standards for shedding blood, and the promises of the Lord for David’s future. Her bold appeal calls David to a higher standard–and he hears her out. In fact, he blesses her for it.

“Now since the LORD has kept you, my master, from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, as surely as the LORD lives and as you live, may your enemies and all who intend to harm my master be like Nabal. And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my master, be given to the men who follow you. Please forgive your servant’s offense, for the LORD will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my master, because he fights the LORD’s battles. Let no wrongdoing be found in you as long as you live. Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my master will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the LORD your God. But the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling. When the LORD has done for my master every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him leader over Israel, my master will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the LORD has brought my master success, remember your servant.”

David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. Otherwise, as surely as the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak.” (1 Samuel 25:26-34 NIV).

Abigail models for us a pattern of initiative that honors God and blesses others. She didn’t appeal to David for some vague sense of personal obligation. She did not trade on her physical charms to distract him. She did not emotionally manipulate him or throw a diva fit herself. What she did was honor him with a symbol of respect (bowing low) and then point him to God’s promises. She appeals to him to avoid doing anything to jeopardize his future or throne or, more importantly, violate God’s standards. Not only does she show us what wise communication looks like (a topic we’ll explore in further posts), she also shows us that godly women are called to know the Lord and His Word, to take action to right wrongs, and to inspire men to be godly themselves. She is direct but humble, clear but gracious, and bold yet feminine.

The immediate result is that David praises the Lord for her and blesses her for her judgment (a word translated as “discernment” in the NAS and “discretion” in the ESV). And the long-term result is that after she is widowed, David marries Abigail. I believe he appreciated what a valuable helpmate she would be.

There was something I was reading today that mentioned a book (that I’m now interested in trying to find and read) called, Telling Secrets by Frederick Buechner.  Here is the portion quoted that intrigued me:

“I have come to believe that by and large the human family all has the same secrets, which are both very telling and very important to tell. They are telling in the sense that they tell what is perhaps the central paradox of our condition — that what we hunger for perhaps more than anything else is to be known in our full humanness, and yet that is often just what we also fear more than anything else.

It is important to tell at least from time to time the secret of who we truly and fully are even if we tell it only to ourselves — because otherwise we run the risk of losing track of who we truly and fully are and little by little come to accept instead the highly edited version which we put forth in hope that the world will find it more acceptable than the real things.”

I think I agree with that, and know it to be true in my life.  It is easier a lot of times to not be authentic or tell people everything, even ourselves - for a lot of reasons.  We may want to avoid the truth and pretend its not real or we may fear the risk of betrayal and being hurt if people find out. 

But…its an amazing thing when you realize that you have people you can trust and share life with around you.  I have been realizing that recently and just have been feeling very blessed.  I have some amazing friends that have been there for me for years who I can entrust with the “unedited version” of my life.  And I have realized that, partly because of those deep relationships, my life is really good right now.  I am trying to be where God wants me to be and am enjoying it….a lot. 

I saw this on someone’s blog and thought it was funny….

Top 10 Ways to Be a Nominal Christian

1. If you view life as a list of check boxes with the following parenthetical statement at the top (Check at least 5 of the following 500 requirements to be saved)…you might just be a nominal Christian.

2. If you put a fish on the back of your car but drive like a maniac…you might just be a nominal Christian.

3. If you believe that helping the poor is something done at the church office rather than on the street…you might just be a nominal Christian.

4. If you let Christ into your holidays but not your heart…you might just be a nominal Christian.

5. If you think sacrifice means you attend some Wednesday nights…you might just be a nominal Christian.

6. If the frequency of your prayers matches the frequency of your struggles (No struggles = no prayers…many struggles = many prayers)…you might just be a nominal Christian.

7. If you send your children to church but stay home and do your own thing…you might just be a nominal Christian.

8. If you come to church because it is good for business and social climbing…you might just be a nominal Christian.

9. If you boldly wear the name “Christian” when it is convenient (I am sure glad Jesus didn’t just stand up for us when it was popular or convenient!)…you might just be a nominal Christian.

10. If you think fellowship most effectively takes place in pews…you might just be a nominal Christian.

What do you think?  Any others you might add? 

I can’t believe that its already almost the end of summer.  Where has it gone????

It’s been a busy, crazy summer for me - with lots of unexpected twists and turns.  And this post is going to be the recap of the highlights….

I got to go visit my good friends from college, Jason and Kristie out in Illinios for Memorial Day weekend.  Another friend of ours from Texas, Starr, got to come up as well and had a mini-reunion and just a great time catching up.  Jason and Kristie are expecting their first child (actually Jason just texted and told me that she is in labor right now!) and I’m really excited for them. 

 June was an interesting month - full of craziness.  The day after my last post, below, I took the day off between jobs.  It was spent with errands and I also caught up with a good friend of mine, Emily Joy for lunch.  We were talking about all sorts of things, but for some reason my family’s habit of switching cars (how my mom has generously given both myself and my brother her car and gotten a new one for herself for the last two years in a row when we have had people crash into us and total our cars) and car payments and things of that nature.  And Emily mentioned how nice it would be for me to not have car payments anymore once I finished paying off this car that my mother had given me 2 years ago.  Little did I know how that conversation would come back around later that day…..  After lunch, I headed down to DC for a first date with a new pastor-boy (who is not named Mark….as the previous 2 have been!).  We had a good time and walked all over DC and I ended up leaving much later than expected.  As I got back on 495 heading home, a car stopped in front of me - on the highway - and I crashed hard into it.  It was a pretty traumatic thing all around with lots more details - but my car ended up being totalled, but both the police and finally the insurance company did not find me to be at fault for the accident.  It was a crazy time for me, because I was starting a new job, in a rental car and trying to deal with all the insurance stuff, plus I was frantically trying to get things ready for the upcoming mission trip, and starting a new relationship with pastor-boy.  When they finally totalled out my car, my father decided it was his turn for a new car and asked if I wanted his SUV.  It has been a huge blessing becuase I didn’t have to worry about car shopping in the middle of all that, plus the SUV is paid for, and although its higher milage, I know that its been well taken care of and maintained.  It costs me more at the gas pump, but its a good trade all around not to be paying it off.  And with a little bit of leftover insurance money, I just got a GPS system for my “new” SUV!  I’m in love already - the GPS is named Jason (he came programmed with it) and he is so patient in re-directing me when I so easily get turned around.  Greatest invention ever!

The first week of July, I took 10 high schoolers (and 2 of my awesome friends came with me to help out and chaperone) up to Cananduiagua, NY for our service- oriented mission trip.  It was the first mission trip this church has ever done and I was very thankful for the opportunity to be able to do it.  We had an incredible time!  We served at various local outreaches like meals on wheels, nursing homes, homeless shelters and got to work alongside with several other youth groups.  My youth definately enjoyed and got a lot out of the expereince.  I was impressed by the depth of their thoughts and reflections each night and their desire to serve God.  We’re hoping to do another trip next year.

We stopped off at Niagra Falls on the way home from the mission trip.  I’d never been before! 

Also in July, I went to my cousin’s wedding up in Boston.  It was another quaker ceremony, outside overlooking a quarry.  Absolutely beautiful.  We had a good time at the wedding and with my mom’s side of the family.

And that’s been most of what’s been going on in my life this summer.  I’m now gearing up for youth group stuff this fall, feeling more settled at my new job with the engineering company, and am still dating pastor-boy and seeing where that relationship is going.  Very thankful for God’s provision and grace throughout it all.